


speak now

by StarlightDragon



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Implied Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Love Confessions, M/M, Unhappy Castiel/Crowley, Wedding Interruption, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-18
Updated: 2015-09-18
Packaged: 2018-04-21 10:23:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4825418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlightDragon/pseuds/StarlightDragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since Dean Winchester was asked to be the best man at his friend Castiel's wedding, he's been trying to figure out the best way to tell Cas how he really feels. Now, it's the day of the wedding, and he's starting to realize that he's left it too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	speak now

**Author's Note:**

> So originally my girlfriend and I did this as a RP but I've never been able to get the idea out of my head. I didn't consult the original RP while writing but credit (as usual) must go to dean-threw-his-pie-for-cas.tumblr.com for working through the prompt with me the first time around.
> 
> This is the most cliche trope in the whole world and I'm such trash for it. Unsurprisingly, based on Speak Now by Taylor Swift.

_"I am not the kind of guy who should be rudely barging in on a black tie occasion,_  
_but you are not the kind of boy_  
_who should be marrying the wrong guy."_

Dean finally escaped what seemed like hundreds of people fussing around in preparation for the wedding, and found a brick wall to lean against outside, breathing heavily. It was the kind of moment that made him consider taking up smoking. It wasn't like he had much of a hope of kissing anyone today.

Cas was the reason for that. Castiel Novak, Dean's closest friend in the world, was the only person Dean really wanted to kiss, and _he_ was getting married in less than an hour. Dean had spent the last six months _promising_ himself that he was going to do something about it; to at least tell Cas that he thought he was making the wrong decision. Even if Dean didn't actually tell Cas how he felt about him, they were still best friends and he still owed him a lot. He needed to tell Cas that Crowley was only going to hurt him - because it was better that Dean and Cas had a fight about this now, than Cas turning up on Dean's doorstep five years down the line, crying because he'd had his heart broken or worse.

But time had got away from Dean, and every day he put off doing what had to be done. And Castiel got more and more stressed, caught up in the wedding planning that Crowley considered himself too important to take care of himself, and before long it was difficult for Dean to find a moment alone with Cas. He thought that maybe even if he did get up the courage to have this conversation, there would always be somebody else around preventing him from actually saying his piece - and this wasn't the kind of conversation you could have in the fitting room while the shop assistant was taking measurements.

And now here they both were, and he and Cas were both wearing tuxes but Dean was the best man, not the other groom like he should have been, and they were in the back of the church and everyone was putting the finishing touches to the decorations and the clothes and the service, and nothing about the day was how it should have been, and it was too late to change anything.

He'd left it too fucking late.

He heard the flap of a tux jacket from somewhere close by, followed by a deep voice, slightly out of breath, saying, "Dean."

Dean turned and found himself confronted with Cas, whose hair was sticking up in all directions; even more of a bird's nest than it normally was. Dean tried to sound like his heart wasn't shattering inside as he spoke. "Cas. How's it going?" 

"My hair." Cas gestured to the haypile on top of his head in desperation. "I can't get it to stay down. My hands are all sweaty... And Crowley will be angry if I show up to our wedding of all places with messy hair."

Dean nodded, and in his head he was thinking that Cas' hair looked beautiful any way he styled it, and shit, _this_ was the reason why he'd been wearing it so much neater recently? Dean had assumed it was for work or something, but... "Yeah. I'll help you. I have some gel in my bag. Meet you in the bathroom?"

He ran a hand through his own hair as he moved back inside to pick up the gel. Might as well make Crowley hate him even more than he already did by having bad hair while standing up there next to the pair of them.

He grabbed the gel from the back room where everyone was keeping their stuff. A couple of Castiel's cousins were in there, or maybe they were Crowley's cousins. They both had such huge families. They didn't even need to merge, they already had more than enough names to learn for reunions.

The two girls didn't say anything to Dean. Probably didn't know who he was. Probably went to so many family weddings that they all just blended into one, and today wasn't anything special.

It was just Dean and his brother Sam at home. He'd never been to a wedding in his life, and this definitely wasn't how he'd imagined his first one going.

"Is this how you imagined it?" Dean asked, as he stood behind Cas in the bathroom, running his hands over Cas' head so that it laid flat against his head, neatly parted to one side. He tried not to enjoy the feeling of his hands on Cas too much.

"My hair?" Cas asked, inspecting it. "I never gave it much thought. But it looks good. Thankyou, Dean."

Dean rolled his eyes. "No, not your hair. Your wedding. Is this how you wanted it?"

Cas hesitated, and then plastered on a smile. "Of course. It's a wedding. There's a church and everyone dresses up. They're all the same, you know."

And Dean supposed that in Cas' experience, they were. And Dean knew that he himself wasn't the best person to correct him on this, but he secretly thought that even if the general details were the same, most people probably didn't look at their own wedding as 'just like all other weddings'.

He opened his mouth, all ready to ask Cas if he was absolutely sure he wanted to go through with this; if he'd ever considered that he could maybe, possibly put his own happiness above what his family wanted, and then--

One of Cas' brothers poked his head around the bathroom door, and Dean actually recognized this one - Michael. And just like that, Dean had missed his chance - his last chance to tell Cas what he really thought.

"There you are, brother. It's two minutes to four. Are you ready?"

Cas glanced at himself in the mirror again, straightening the red flower in his buttonhole. Then he nodded, and followed Michael out of the room.

Michael beckoned Dean too. "Dean. I believe you're involved as well." The way he said it made it sound like he wished he wasn't. 

Dean glanced in the mirror too. He considered untucking his shirt in order to piss Crowley off further, but he didn't want to do anything to mess with Cas' day.

Crowley would do a good enough job of that on his own.

Standing at the front of the aisle next to Cas and yet so far away from him, Dean had never felt more powerless. One hundred pairs of eyes in the room, and yet not a single person had cared enough about Cas to mention to him that this marriage wasn't going to make him happy.

Least of all Dean. He'd been selfish was what it came down to. Too busy enjoying going wine tasting with Cas and picking out potential wedding gifts to focus on what reall mattered. Too scared of losing him.

The priest had started speaking, but Dean hadn't been paying attention until one sentence burst into his thoughts.

"Should anyone here present know of any legal reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Dean froze. Maybe - just maybe - he hadn't missed his chance. He'd heard those words on television before, but he'd never made the link that they weren't just for dramatic effect; that they'd actually be said, here and now. That he was being given one final opportunity, one sparkling moment calling out to him to do what he hadn't been able to. Until now.

There were all those people watching, though. The church was packed with Cas and Crowley's friends and family and there was no way Dean could do this without attracting all their attention or starting some kind of a riot. Why hadn't he just had a word with Cas in private when he'd had the chance?

He had no choice. He could put Cas through a few minutes of shit now, or stand back and watch Crowley put him through a lifetime of shit.

"No objections? In that case-"

Dean stepped forward.

Cas grabbed his arm. "Dean, no, this isn't your part."

Dean ignored him, and took another step forwards, turning to face the priest.

"I do. I object."

The man stepped back in shock, and it was clear to the room that in every wedding he'd ever conducted, he'd never once been placed in this situation before.

"On what grounds?" he asked faintly.

Dean chanced a glance behind him and immediately wished he hadn't. The whole room was fixated on him, leaning forward in their seats, holding completely still, mouths pressed together in frowns at the interruption. He might as well be in a room full of statues. Only, statues didn't have that piercing gaze that Dean could feel trained on his own back even after he'd turned back around.

Still, there was no going back now. He'd done the hard part, in a way. He'd already caused the scene. Now, he'd have to explain himself one way or another, so he might as well tell the truth.

"I, um, I don't have a legal reason exactly, but I have one that I think's just as important. I can't let this wedding happen. I need to talk to Castiel Novak in private."

Cas stepped forward - away from Crowley, whose eyes were burning with murderous rage, and towards Dean, who for a moment he thought everything was going to be okay, until- "You do not. I don't know what the hell you think you're doing, but you can explain yourself right here or not at all."

Dean had never heard Cas sound that angry, and he never wanted to again. He never thought _he'd_ be the one Cas yelled at like that.

"Fine," he shrugged. "Fine, I'll say it here. I don't normally do stuff like this, any of this. I don't talk about my feelings and I don't try to wreck peoples' weddings and act like I know better than they do, or whatever. But you, Cas... I know you. And I know you're better than this. Look, people get married for a lot of reasons, and maybe for some people convenience is enough. It makes sense for them to get married and they're both going to benefit from it, so they do it. But you're not that guy. You have the biggest heart of anyone I know, and you deserve to marry someone... who loves you."

Cas laughed, but there wasn't any humor behind it. "That's not how we do things in my family and you know it."

"Then break the mold. Free will, you know. It's as good as they say."

Cas didn't look convinced. "And who? Who is this magical person who's going to marry me for love? Because last I checked, I don't see anybody lining up."

Dean turned his head away from Cas. He'd been getting into it while he was talking in the abstract, but now things were getting personal and Dean was no longer so keen to have this conversation. "Hey, Cas... are you still sure you wanna do this here? We can go somewhere... just to a back room," he muttered.

Cas' face flushed, and he looked furious. His eyes burned as he stepped forwards and yelled to the room at large, "Everyone! Dean wants to have this conversation in private! Who thinks I should go do that?"

"Hell no!" Cas' brother Gabriel called from the front row. He had a huge grin on his face, looking like this was the most exciting thing to happen to him all year.

Cas' voice was harsh and cold when he next spoke. "Alright, Dean. If you insist on trying to mess with me, today of all days, you can say what you need to say here. Otherwise, get out."

Dean's life flashed before his eyes in that moment. He'd heard that that happened when you died and he didn't think he was dying right now, except maybe from embarrassment. And yet, a lifetime of memories were all just flooding back, and somehow every single one of them seemed to involve Cas in some way. And more than that - they all involved Cas being happy, and smiling, and spending time with Dean. And they only served to make Dean realize how long it had been since he'd seen Cas like that, and how much he desperately wanted to.

Suddenly realizing quite how high the stakes were, Dean took a deep breath and began to speak.

"We were eleven, and we were in the same sixth grade history class, and we were partnered for the World War Two project. You remember?"

Cas nodded slowly, not seeing where this was going.

"I wanted to be partnered with Benny so badly. I went to the teacher and I begged her to switch because I didn't want to work with the weird kid."

"Where the hell is this going, Dean? We have a wedding to get back to, and I will get someone to escort you out," Crowley threatened, stepping forward to join the conversation.

Cas turned on him. "No, let him say what he has to say!"

"You're on his side now? You're picking the squirrel over me?"

"No. I'm not. I just want to hear how this story ends, and then I'll - then I'll kick him out." Cas' voice cracked as he glanced between the two of them, clearly hating the idea of losing Dean over this but not seeing how he had much of a choice.

Dean cleared his throat. "Okay. So, the teacher said no exceptions and that I had to work with you. And thank God she did, because we spent a whole week sitting at that table in the back of the room talking and laughing and creating the best damn World War Two information poster that Lawrence Middle School had ever seen. At least, we thought it was. We only got a B plus, but that week changed my life because I met someone so incredible that I knew, even back then, that I'd never forget him."

"That's beautiful, Dean. There's a tear in my eye. Save it for the best man speech," Crowley deadpanned.

Dean ignored him, pushing forwards. "Then when we were fourteen we stole a six pack of beer from my dad's workshop and we drank it together and fell asleep on my bedroom floor in the middle of the afternoon. When we were seventeen we stayed up all night together working on your college application so that you could meet the early action deadline for Yale. When we were twenty-two you went to grad school and Bal cheated on you while you were gone and we drove around in my car for six hours screaming along to angry music so that you could forget about it. When we were thirty-"

Cas cut in, breaking up Dean's monologue in his anger. "You know what, these are great stories - these are all fucking great stories - but I'm beginning to see Crowley's point! You're wasting time, and we have a wedding to get back to, so please will you just leave? Clearly I made a mistake asking you to be my best man!"

"Yeah, you're damn right you made a mistake! Because I shouldn't be the best man at this wedding! I should be so much more than that."

Cas and Crowley stepped forward simultaneously, and in a rare moment of agreement, they both cried, "What?"

Dean took a deep breath, and tried to pretend there weren't a couple hundred people listening to what he was about to say. He knew this was his final chance. If he didn't make his point now, he'd be thrown out and he'd never get to find out how Cas really felt. And sure, he'd rather jump off a cliff with no safety harness than admit this, but there were no cliffs in jumping distance, and the love of his life was standing in front of him just about ready to marry somebody else. 

"It's true that I always pictured myself standing next to you at your wedding. But... I pictured myself as the other groom."

In other circumstances, Dean would have laughed at the look on Cas' face - but he'd never felt less like laughing than he did right now.

The whole room had switched places. Where before, Cas and Crowley had been yelling and reacting to everything he said, they were now both frozen in place, equal expressions of shock on their faces. Dean didn't care about the lashes of hatred in Crowley's, but he was concerned that he couldn't even begin to read what Cas might be thinking.

Meanwhile, the entire rest of the room were on their feet and rioting. Some were rolling their sleeves up for a fight, some were yelling for security, and some were praying to God that they'd get out of there alive. Dean's brother Sam was next to Gabriel in the front row, the two of them pumping their fists in the air as they held hands and cheered.

Finally, everyone calmed enough to listen to what Cas and Crowley were going to do next, and Dean stole the opportunity to talk more to Cas. "Cas, you're my entire world, and I know that I can't be happy if you're not happy, and because of that I don't want you to do this. And maybe I didn't go about telling you that the right way. Hell, I've been planning to tell you for months. And if you ask me to leave again, I'll do it. And I'll do whatever it takes to make up for ruining your day, not that that's really possible. But if you ever had any kind of doubts about this wedding... I just wanted to tell you that if you wanted to walk away from all this, you'd have somewhere to go."

Dean smiled up at Cas as he finished his speech, even as he was trying to blink tears from his eyes, as he tried to capture the image of the man in front of him one final time. The slicked back hair and the tight, worried face may not have been how Dean wanted to remember him, but they would have to do, he thought, as he turned away and started to walk back down the aisle, head down, making himself as small as possible.

He heard some of the guests in the pews turn to watch him leave, but he didn't look to see who. He kept going, and with every step all he wanted was to give up and just collapse on the floor and break down sobbing, because feeling what he was feeling right now was already using up all his energy, and walking at the same time was almost too much. And yet he managed to make it to the steps outside before his body gave in.

He'd thought he'd feel better once he told Cas what was on his mind, but he didn't at all. He just felt like he'd thrown away everything, had made a whole room full of people mad at him; had lost Cas forever because he was a stupid idiot who couldn't keep his mouth shut and couldn't let his best friend have anyone if it wasn't him.

Well, he hoped Cas and Crowley figured it out. Cas must have his reasons for picking Crowley, and Dean would just have to trust them. Like he maybe should have done a long time ago.

A body dropped down on the steps next to Dean. For a heartstopping, movie-climax moment, Dean thought maybe it was Cas, but even without looking, he could tell that it wasn't. It wasn't Cas' smell or the way he sat down and there was too much distance between them.

Whoever it was, they were either here to yell at him or pity him, and Dean didn't know which was worse.

"Want some candy? Always makes me feel better."

"Gabriel," Dean said, in a hoarse, tear-stained voice, not looking at him. "What are you doing? Thought you were enjoying the show."

"Show's over, Deano. Cas called off the wedding."

Dean's head snapped round, horrorstruck. "No. I fucked up, I know that, but I didn't want... is there anything I can do?"

Gabriel shrugged. "I mean, you could go in there and kiss him senseless. But if I were you I'd wait until people have left. You're not exactly popular with the Novak family or the MacLeod family."

"Nothing new th- wait. I'm missing something." Dean forced his mind to go blank, because thoughts of kissing Cas, of Cas somehow wanting to kiss him, were beginning to creep in at the sides, and he couldn't let that happen. Not again. "What do you mean, kiss him senseless?"

Gabe rolled his eyes. "I think your sixth grade teacher was generous, giving you a B plus. Personally I'd give you a solid D for intelligence. Cas called off the wedding, _for you._ Crowley got mad at him and he grabbed him and wouldn't let him leave, so he yelled to everyone to go stop you and make sure you didn't go anywhere. Naturally, I stepped up."

"Crowley grabbed him?" Dean asked, suddenly concerned for Cas even as much as he wanted to be happy about this turn of events.

"It's fine. Your brother got up to break up the fight. My God, have you seen those muscles? Crowley didn't stand a chance. I think everyone just needs a little cooling off time."

Dean nodded, a little dumbfounded by recent developments. He'd thought he'd be happy if he ever found out that Cas had any kind of feelings for him, but instead he just felt a combination of numbness and disbelief. He barely noticed as Gabriel pulled him to his feet and tugged him over to a bench out of the way, hidden from the front of the church by a row of trees. Gabe offered him a lollipop and he accepted, and the two of them slurped in silence. Dean didn't exactly know what they were waiting for, and he didn't know if he was looking forward to it.

Finally, Gabriel's cell phone bleeped, and he pulled his third lollipop out of his mouth to speak. "Coast's clear. Crazy families are gone. Cassie's in the alley behind the church."

Dean didn't even stop to thank him. He got to his feet and bolted in the direction Gabriel said, terrified of missing this opportunity; the one he never thought he'd get. It didn't take long for him to find the alley, and as promised, Cas was waiting there. He'd changed out of his tux and was wearing a striped polo and jeans, watching Dean as he skidded to a stop in front of him.

"I'm sorry," Dean yelled, panting, before he was even done moving.

Cas shook his head, grabbing on to Dean's arms to steady him. "No. I'm glad you were there. I'm glad you did what you did."

"Gabe said you called off the wedding."

"Well, I wouldn't exactly be here otherwise," Cas said with a small smile.

"Your family are going to give you hell."

"They already did. But some things aren't important. Like the grade you get on a sixth grade history project or the opinion of people who never really cared about you. And other things _are_ important. Like... well, like you."

Dean's eyes widened.

Cas continued. "You know, I should have known something was wrong when I drafted my wedding vows and all I could think about was the way you looked at me when I told you I was getting engaged. It was like you always used to have stars in your eyes when you looked at me, and I'd never noticed them until that day, when suddenly they were gone. See, I always knew I loved you. That's just been a given, ever since we were small. Sun rises in the east, sky is blue and Dean Winchester is the love of my life. But that memory is what should have shown me that you loved me back."

"And if one of us had said something sooner?" Dean asked.

"Then we'd be cuddling in front of the fire in our vacation log cabin instead of in this mess."

Dean laughed. "I like it. Although I'd add feeding each other toasted marshmallows to that fantasy."

Cas smiled and nodded in agreement, and Dean took the lull in the conversation as an opportunity to look him up and down. He seemed okay. If Gabriel hadn't been exaggerating about how bad things had got in the church - and Dean wouldn't put it past him to do that - it seemed like Cas had at least escaped most of the damage. Although, Dean would be sure to find an excuse to check later in the day. Inspect Cas' body for bruises and that.

"So what exactly did you say to Crowley? To get out of there?" Dean finally asked.

"I told him that... you can't choose who you love. The only thing you can choose is what you do about it. Then once Sam had pulled him off me and restrained him, he said, in that case, why wasn't I doing the mature thing and choosing him? And I said...because imagining life without you is hell. But imagining life without him felt like - well, relief. And-"

Dean cut off the rest of Cas' story by stepping forward into his space and claiming his lips, weaving a hand into Cas' hair to hold him tight against him. At first he swallowed Cas' words and then later his moans as Dean deepened the kiss, needing to prove to Cas that walking away from the wedding was worth it. Needing to show Cas quite how much he loved him.

The kiss was exactly right, two halves of the same heart now free of obstacles and joining together in an explosion of stars just like they were always meant to.

There was nobody around and nothing to stop them from kissing all day and all night, but Dean had ideas about getting a motel room together - putting the bed to good use, having their first dinner date together in peace, falling asleep curled around each other. So he forced himself to pull away, cocking an eyebrow at Cas and asking, "You were saying?"

Cas took a moment to catch his breath. "And then I escaped a horde of angry family members from both sides and hid out here. And... then I kissed the most beautiful man on Earth."

\---

"One day," Dean said, snuggling into Cas in their uncomfortable motel room bed late that night, the ceiling occasionally dripping on them, a vague smell of mold in the air, and yet both of them feeling better than they ever had in their lives- "one day, we'll get married. And it's not going to be like today. It's going to be different in every possible way."

"Prove it," Cas smirked.

"Yeah, I will," Dean frowned, narrowing his eyes at Cas. "Not right now, though. It's been a crazy day and I'm really tired."

Cas ruffled his hair. "Tomorrow, then. What do you say? You, me, and a drive in chapel somewhere?" He winked at Dean, reaching over to switch off the lamp.

"You're insane. We only just got together," Dean whispered, wrapping his arms around Cas ready to sleep.

But he didn't say no, and they both noticed it.

_"baby, I didn't say my vows_  
_so glad you were there_  
_when they said **speak now."**_

**Author's Note:**

> come talk to me about your otp on tumblr at **casandsip**


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